Join Johnny Spoiler and scream queen Jordan Savage as they brandish their wit and nostalgia in a journey through the enchanted lands of fantasy movies, beginning with a hearty banter on the cult favorite "Red Sonja." The duo doesn't hold back, diving into Arnold Schwarzenegger's larger-than-life on-set stories and the recent beat of his human heart beneath the legendary muscle—a pacemaker update that reminds us even icons have their battles. We'll navigate through the choppy waters of potential revivals from the spinach-chewing "Popeye" to the long-awaited swings of a "Happy Gilmore" sequel, all while stirring up the cauldron of anticipation and cherished recollections.
The clang of swords and the roar of dragons take center stage as we peel back the curtain on "Red Sonja's" tumultuous production tales. You'll get an earful about Arnold's unexpected leap from a cameo to a co-starring role and the hunt for a female lead who could stand toe-to-toe with the screen's mightiest warrior. The chapter unfolds, revealing "Red Sonja's" secret identity as possibly Marvel's first cinematic outing, setting the stage for a legacy long before comic book movies became Hollywood's behemoths. We cap off with a spirited critique of some of the film's most thrilling scenes—yes, including that unforgettable water fight sequence.
As we sheathe our swords from the on-screen escapades, Jordan and I retreat to the kingdom of childhood, where the echoes of laughter from epic backyard quests still linger. We reminisce about the days of cardboard castles and wrapping paper swords, drawing parallels between those simple joys and our current quests for moments of solitude and play. A dream ushers in a heartfelt conversation about the profound impact of those formative years, as we invite you to join us in this intimate roundtable, sharing your stories and continuing the dialogue that bridges the past, present, and future of our shared love for the fantastical.
Get the Zocdoc app for FREE at https://bit.ly/ZOCDOCFREE, book a top-rated doctor today with many available within 24 hours.
Go to https://www.prettylitter.com/bingewatch and use code bingewatch to save twenty percent on your first order.
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Say hi? host@bwpodcast.com
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Join Johnny Spoiler and scream queen Jordan Savage as they brandish their wit and nostalgia in a journey through the enchanted lands of fantasy movies, beginning with a hearty banter on the cult favorite "Red Sonja." The duo doesn't hold back, diving into Arnold Schwarzenegger's larger-than-life on-set stories and the recent beat of his human heart beneath the legendary muscle—a pacemaker update that reminds us even icons have their battles. We'll navigate through the choppy waters of potential revivals from the spinach-chewing "Popeye" to the long-awaited swings of a "Happy Gilmore" sequel, all while stirring up the cauldron of anticipation and cherished recollections.
The clang of swords and the roar of dragons take center stage as we peel back the curtain on "Red Sonja's" tumultuous production tales. You'll get an earful about Arnold's unexpected leap from a cameo to a co-starring role and the hunt for a female lead who could stand toe-to-toe with the screen's mightiest warrior. The chapter unfolds, revealing "Red Sonja's" secret identity as possibly Marvel's first cinematic outing, setting the stage for a legacy long before comic book movies became Hollywood's behemoths. We cap off with a spirited critique of some of the film's most thrilling scenes—yes, including that unforgettable water fight sequence.
As we sheathe our swords from the on-screen escapades, Jordan and I retreat to the kingdom of childhood, where the echoes of laughter from epic backyard quests still linger. We reminisce about the days of cardboard castles and wrapping paper swords, drawing parallels between those simple joys and our current quests for moments of solitude and play. A dream ushers in a heartfelt conversation about the profound impact of those formative years, as we invite you to join us in this intimate roundtable, sharing your stories and continuing the dialogue that bridges the past, present, and future of our shared love for the fantastical.
Get the Zocdoc app for FREE at https://bit.ly/ZOCDOCFREE, book a top-rated doctor today with many available within 24 hours.
Go to https://www.prettylitter.com/bingewatch and use code bingewatch to save twenty percent on your first order.
Drop us a voicemail https://bit.ly/VOICEMAILTHEPOD
Say hi? host@bwpodcast.com
Partner with us? host@bwpodcast.com
You still will then do a show. It's called binge watchers podcast, which means it might be a podcast. Who knows, I'm Johnny Spoiler. I tend to spoil the movies I love on the show and Jordan has to suffer for it. Joining us all is, by the savage scream queen herself, jordan Savage, as we ramble down the road on a side quest, we're doing fantasy movie vibes a little bit earlier this year, why not? And to kick it off, we're going to talk about Red Sonia. That's coming next, right after these. Well, I thought I had it like so together to be that smooth that there was no gaps, but maybe not. Anyway, you'll hear the girl in a second. She's going to tell you to crack something open and pour something cold on ice so we can kick this off. As soon as I find what I'm looking for, jordan is like hurry it up, I got all the tape Johnny boy.
Speaker 2:I'm getting a cold box of wine, or pour something cold on ice, because it's the binge watchers podcast.
Speaker 1:I'm going to go for a little bit of a break. Anyway, the most famous Arnold on the planet actually is a recovery because he got a pacemaker put in. What question mark and then what even blows my mind. Beyond that, I did not know that he started Arnold's Pump Club podcast, but he recently shared, I guess, that he got a pacemaker implanted and dang, because that's Conan the Barbarian himself. You know, I didn't know he was suffering from a freaking Well, I mean, he's a lot of heart related conditions, but I don't know what. He had nerve surgery, knee surgery a few years ago with slice alone. They did like a photo op. I think they were doing a prison movie together or something. They did like a photo op. Look, look, we're getting our knees. We're getting our knees done at the same time, anyway, popped in a pacemaker anyway.
Speaker 1:Yeah, man, mortality catches up to everyone. He was talking about wrestling death on like one of the late night shows what was it? Kobe report or whatever and he's talking to Kobe about how he hopes to wrestle death, like I guess, from Arnold's perspective. He's not even considered death a thing. He doesn't like death. I'm not sure. I'm not sure if death can be Conan or Conan will be death. We'll find out, but it's crazy to think that he's as mortal as the rest of us. What do you think, jordan? The idea that I didn't even know Arnie had a heart problem? I know he had news I was I was talking to a few seconds ago about knee surgery that I heard he had, because did you ever see the photo op with him and slice alone? They got like their knees operated on at the same time. Anyway, look, all these guys are breaking down. They're like immortal legends from the 80s but you know, time is catching up to everyone. I don't know what to say.
Speaker 1:And and Arnold's next thing is to conquer death. I mean, he was joking about it. But anyway, this is not Arnold's heart situation podcast. We're going to move on, okay, oh, but much love. I should probably say I'm an Arnold fan, and not not to discourage his health problems or anything. But anyway, rumors and swirling that there will be a new Popeye live action movie. Last time they did a live action Popeye was like in 1980, robin Williams was Popeye. There's actually an actor in tonight's movie of the week plays a character called Falcon. His name is like Paul J Smith. He played Bluto in the original Popeye live action movie. The thing is I mean, everybody knows Popeye is still famous enough for everybody to know who Popeye is.
Speaker 2:I would hope so. I mean I'd never seen the live action movie, but like that was such an icon when I was growing up.
Speaker 1:You know, yeah, the black and white cartoons are from like the thirties, but they played on repeat for at least the next 40 years. Right, and YouTube at one point tried to do like a redo cartoon and there was like modern Popeye in the early 2000s. I want to say like another cartoon, but I mean it's like ingrained in the pop culture. It has to be right.
Speaker 2:I hope so.
Speaker 1:I'm like Popeye can't die.
Speaker 2:Let me, let me take a poll tomorrow at work. Just like you know, Popeye is like Urban.
Speaker 1:Dictionary says Popeyes when you squirt semen into a girl left nostril at 12 o'clock in the afternoon. No, I don't know if that's really the Urban Dictionary version. I'm making that up, but I could imagine that you know, the Urban Dictionary might have a different definition of what a Popeye is.
Speaker 2:It'll find out at work.
Speaker 1:It'll be real fascinating to see what people come back with.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'll give you a poll. I'll update you next week.
Speaker 1:So, um, Adam Sandler says he's going to do happy Gilmore to the sequel script it's supposed to be getting worked on. Did you see happy Gilmore? Yes, I did. He's like what is he in that? He's like a. He's a hockey fan, right, that ends up playing golf. I think that's how it goes.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I was what I also think about with happy. Gilmore is the alligator, the gator.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, I just like everybody likes the um, the villain character, shudham McGavin, yeah, shudham McGavin, yeah, who's like supposed to be like kind of like a more stuck up, like trust fund, yacht club golfer, pro golfer, who like can't stand it, like have a Gilmore introduced, like the underdog version, like rock and roll, you know the gator I always like, oh because, oh, chubs. Peterson, there's another golf pro.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and it helps Adam Sandler's character learn how to be more like a pro golfer right and then, like the story, is the alligator or whatever ate his hand right and the gator actor is a resident of Colorado.
Speaker 2:Back from where I'm from, yeah, he's. He's a Colorado resident, so what?
Speaker 1:do you mean Like dude in a suit, dude in a gator suit? No, he's like he actually, oh you mean the gators, like a famous gator, like in real life.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:I did not know that Sydney Sweeney. She's like in all the movies now she's like a modern movie star. Let's see, I don't got her name or credits, do I? I mean, she was technically in Madame Web and she doesn't care that it was a flop. She said she's also in some crazy, immaculate horror movie or something.
Speaker 2:And it looks good.
Speaker 1:Like Obviously she's a breakout star from Astoria or whatever, right? Mm-hmm. And I bring it up because she's gonna do a Barbarella. A Barbarella is like a space Odyssey movie that Jane Fonda was in and it kind of makes sense like insert Sydney Sweeney in the remake because she's kind of having that little fame. Like people are, like Aughlin, fascinated at Sydney Sweeney and the same thing like they fond over Jane Fonda. You know what I'm saying. Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1:So it makes sense. Um, but tonight everybody's gonna be awking over Bridget Nielsen. That's freaking. Red Sonia, um, I kind of hobbled this together from IMDb. It was like the best description I had, because I don't like these long-winded, like movie descriptions that don't make a lot of sense anyway. But IMDb says the fearless warrior Red Sonia sets out to avenger family's murder and ridder kingdom from the tyrannical rule of evil Queen Gedrin. And then I added, joined by brave warrior Calador, naive Prince Tarn and his faithful bumbling guardian Falcon. So let's back it up. Um, bridget Nielsen, I don't know what Jordan's gonna throw down some trivia, so I'll just say like she's a model, she's like one of the main villains in Beverly Hills, cop two Uh, are you gonna talk about her affairs? Are those in your?
Speaker 2:I would not. No, all right, all right. So I'll hold off Spill the tea.
Speaker 1:I mean, I was gonna say like her iconic movies are probably this one in Beverly Hills, cop two, but then the cast includes, uh, cendall Birdman, who played the evil Queen as a Valeria and the Conan the barbarian movies, which is like Conan's Queen, so it's kind of interesting shift. She's also she and she, so she played two heroes in other fantasy movies, but then is the villain in this one. Um, I already mentioned that Paul J Smith was Pluto in the Popeye movie, so there's a Popeye reference at the beginning. Paul, if you're following along with us for the whole ride, ernie raised junior, so he plays the little prince in this, but he's like a mixed martial arts dude, you know. So he does some martial arts as the kid prince in this movie, but then you probably know him from like teenage mutant ninja turtle two. How about surf ninjas? I like him from this.
Speaker 1:Uh, there's this old Disney channel, like before Disney plus, when Disney just just had a channel on cable TV. He's in a karate show called secret bodyguard Right, and we're like you know what was the deal with that? Was he protecting the president's daughter? I don't know, no, or just the most popular girl at school hired him as a bodyguard something, something like that. I just remember like a fight breaks out at the high school party or something. Yeah, that's a good show, though they should. They could easily remake that for Disney plus.
Speaker 1:I mean, obviously it wouldn't be Ernie. Now, he's like dang, is he in his fifties or sixties somewhere in there? Um, shout out to my friend Rini, because Rini, uh well, he's like, yeah, he's like. Well, they say that Ernie rays looks like Rini or Rini looks like Ernie rays. I don't know if I should uh like really tease my friend, but um, and Rini, you know, is from Southern cat wall. Rini's originally from Jersey. He's my buddy, but I met him in film school when I was working at a sunglass store. He managed one of my first gigs in when I got to sunny California to go to film school was just selling sunglasses, but they would always confuse my friend for Ernie rays, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1:So anyway, um, that's how that went down, that's like, that's like, so, like, why would I even share that? I mean, who cares? No, but people don't know my friends, I mean I'm just like, hey, good, I had a friend that looks like any, but I know. I know he listens. He's one of our listeners, so I'll get a. He'll probably get a gag out of the fact that I remembered and brought it up.
Speaker 2:Shout out to you, friend.
Speaker 1:I mean, if you want that dirt. Bridget Nielsen was briefly married to sliced alone, at the same time working on Beverly Hills cop too. She had an affair with the director Tony Scott. There's also a rumor that she had a director with Arnold on red.
Speaker 1:Sonia that they hooked up in the movie. She was a model, right. So she was a model. Somebody saw her on the cover of magazine Stucker and red Sonia in 1989. She was actually modeling as she Hulk, because you're trying to raise money for like a she Hulk movie. Back then she pops up in reality show flavor Flav hanging out with the rapper flavor Flav. She credits him as saving her from like a bad asthma attack. So she has, like this legendary whirlwind romances with all our co-stars and, like I said briefly, married to sliced alone himself. She has like a Guinness Book of World record for being like one of the tallest working female actors and she actually had a kid in her fifties. She's like 54. Like anyway, it's all random trivia about the legend of Bridget Nielsen, whose hair is blonde, by the way.
Speaker 3:She's not a true redhead. So, yeah, that's the magic right there.
Speaker 1:They dyed her hair. Everything this movie is red too, which was really funny. It's like they picked a theme and they stuck with it. Everybody is red. You know, like like her allies show up. They all have some red, so you know they're going to be her allies. You know, only the bad guys are like muted colors, right.
Speaker 2:Right Love that. Anyway some added stats. That was. That was pretty good, by the way. You just I don't know where to I didn't know where to I'm going to bring it up, bring it up. No, and I was jazzed by it.
Speaker 1:I was like hey, you know who she looked up with.
Speaker 2:I know I do love this. I've got a few, you know we don't need to go too much into it. Arnold had signed up for this, thinking it was more of like a glorified cameo as a favor to the producer. But, much to his surprise, after being on set for four weeks, which was three longer than what he expected, how about later, when they find out they're marketing the whole movie, right?
Speaker 1:Well, I know.
Speaker 2:Well, and that's kind of like. This is one of the scenarios where I'm glad I didn't like read any statistics about the movie until I after I had watched it, because I do think I would have come at it with some different bias. But yeah, so after he had been on set like three weeks longer than he expected and he watched a rough cut of the movie, he realized it was pretty much a co-star role because he's in it throughout the whole movie due to like the crappy angles and multiple cameras. And then this led to Arnold terminating a 10 year contract with the producer, apparently.
Speaker 1:So with no less the producer, dino De La Rente's of De La Rente's group, who, like man, I think he might have been one of the producers that discovered Arnold, but he definitely, you know, is the company producing, like the other Conan's. Right, they had a profound working relationship until this moment.
Speaker 2:You can tell how Arnold feels about the film based off of kind of the facts and like the kind of hubbub around the movie, because he himself kind of talks a little negatively about it. He just not had a good experience, probably for being there longer than he expected. Imagine this as being a cameo, especially around the Conan times, and there's a lot of talk too about like how this is like a Conan without the price tag situation. But yeah, he talked pretty negative.
Speaker 1:Yeah, this is like. This is kind of known in the fandom world as like the unofficial third Conan movie.
Speaker 2:Well, they even, you know, go as far as suggesting like the name Calador is like really similar to like how, like certain fantasy or like folklore will like trans. It will change based off of area and demographics. So a lot of people say that this is like Conan. But just going by, you know what?
Speaker 1:if his traveler name so he feel, yeah, yeah, but I mean it's in Hyboria, which is the fake like kingdom or, you know, continent, that the guy who, robert E Howard, the guy who made Conan, created this whole other world, you know that can exist somewhere in our world but isn't necessarily there. And so Red Sonya takes place like simultaneously, is the same time as Conan, right, and I think they probably team up in the comics and some of the stories, for sure. And Calador to me seems like Conan's cousin, because it's still like there's one line in the movie that's something about like for someone to conquer you, then I can conquer your heart, or something like that, and like clearly it's a nod to Conan s wine, right, so like most Conan line in the movie, but Calador does not have as much personality as Conan, so he still, he wasn't fully flexing, no not at all Exactly muscles.
Speaker 2:There's definitely a difference, you know he definitely did all his own stunts, though, which is pretty cool, and I was worried.
Speaker 1:If I showed you this and you're like is that what a Conan and barbarian movie is like, then I don't want to watch Conan, because I definitely see them as like different performances, you know.
Speaker 2:I must say that you probably did it right by starting with this first, but we'll talk about that when we get to the ratings. Um, we already touched a little bit on this. Dino de Laurenti s almost took like a full year to find which actress he was going to use. That was going to be as like Amazonian enough to play the title character, meaning like he needed to find it An extra 12.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because where do you essentially get the female Conan? Right.
Speaker 2:You know, like what do you find the counterpart and I'm not sure how true this is, but this says that it's the first feature length theatrical film based on a Marvel character. Mmm.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, because I'm Punisher. 1989 doesn't show up until four years later with Dolph Lundgren. So it's kind of cool and I don't know if this is true or not, but I thought Bridget Nelson also hooked up with Dolph Lundgren, but I don't know, I don't know. Well, they will start together a rocky four.
Speaker 1:like she plays the wife of his character, val Drago, but what is her name? Like Bridget Drago, I don't know her characters, I don't know her character's name, but I Don't know. I don't know if they hooked up. I mean, I I'm just imagining that, why not? I mean, look at her list of accolades. Serious romances here in show business anyone, and I'm not making it. First of all, I'm not casting any stones or making any judgments. I should probably make that clear. I love Bridget Nelson celebration 100% yeah, anyway.
Speaker 2:Where are, I think we're on to?
Speaker 1:All right, are we wrapping up your savage stats?
Speaker 2:That's it. Yeah, that's wrapped.
Speaker 1:All right. So way back after a couple messages with our little podcast here and see what's going on in the world of Of messages. We'll be right back after these messages. Let's see. Tonight we're brought to you by Zock doc. You can download the zock doc app for free by going to Zock doc com. For slash spoiler Are you that one friend in the friend group that loves to treat yourself?
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Speaker 1:Now back to the podcast already in progress to talk about our favorite bits from the fantasy movie Red Sonia 1985. Bridget Nielsen, big Arnold. You could almost make a joke that Ernie Ray Jr is little Arnold. He's so cute. I mean he's fighting his way through Kung Fu chopping, trying to beat an evil queen that destroyed his kingdom. I'm giving away too much of the movie already.
Speaker 2:I know if I could only guess what your reading is going to be for it, but I don't know. Yeah, maybe you'll keep me on my toes. Starting off the fifth, there's a couple of scenes that I mean. I liked a lot of the scenes, so I'll start with that. I love it.
Speaker 1:It's only 90 minutes, so you like. You like two thirds of the movie and you know what. I mean. Like every other scene.
Speaker 2:I thought the room where they were holding the talisman is pretty cool.
Speaker 1:You mean the Well-lit candle room where one of the characters evens points out hey, there's two fucking candles in here.
Speaker 2:There's a lot of candles in here.
Speaker 1:Queen, there's too much light in this room.
Speaker 2:Like that it's that room. That's the room Thought. That was pretty cool, but I also loved the machine. It's like a metal water dragon. Essentially, you've got Prince Tarn and you have.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, it's like a booby trap. You remove the pearl and the metal dragon attacks you. Yeah, the water fight is like the best done in the whole movie.
Speaker 2:It's so great, right, because you have the queen who is, you know, she's got people who can do magic and all sorts of things, and I think that that's like one of the creatures that they have to stop them from getting to their, you know, finishing their quest to get there.
Speaker 1:Here's the thing, though the water fight with the monster is almost a bigger fight than the conclusion of the movie, which might be a problem for some viewers, right.
Speaker 2:I literally noted that I'm like, okay, it's a little drawn out, like it honestly does take like actual more time than a lot of the other fights, but it's pretty cool. Like you have the metal dragon like moving through the water. It's trying to attack Sonia.
Speaker 1:All the characters are wrestling with it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and then he's trying to get rid of it, you've got bad dives into the water and then it's difficult to kill because he's like.
Speaker 1:I don't know if this is an animal or just a mechanism Like this sucks yeah.
Speaker 2:They're able to blind it by like popping out you know the stone eyes or the eyes or whatever, and then it just goes into this like massive death roll. I guess it's fair enough to point out like this scene.
Speaker 1:spoiler alert they get rid of the mechanical monster. It drowns Like if it can drown, I don't know. Or maybe it's just powered by an engine or evil Hard to say what powers it greed actually, maybe because the little prince wants to restart his kingdom by buying an army with the pearl from its mouth.
Speaker 1:But once you clutch that pearl, it's like sets the monster off. However, this is the first scene I saw in the movie and I'm like what is this? What is this movie? What is happening here? And then I recognized Arnold, obviously, like I had to learn who everybody else was, you know, but if you're watching when you're like eight years old, it's freaking awesome.
Speaker 2:Yeah Well, queen Gendron mentions it to one of her like henchmen, his name's Eichel, like to like be, like to essentially try to stop them Right, Like they push them into this like water hole.
Speaker 1:I believe it's only one bridge which is made out of the skeleton of what looks to be a similar creature.
Speaker 2:Yeah Well, and I call, makes some sort of comment like they make good fish food. But of course, queen, you know Gendron really wants to make sure that, like Sonia is spared because she obviously has an infatuation with Sonia. One of my last bits is just, I like Prince Tarn in general. I love that he starts off being this like really you know selfish brat. He's even using you know his fool to essentially speak to Sonia. He mentions even like he's going to need a chef in his kingdom and he realizes, you know, on this quest that he obviously needs help and she teaches him a little bit of you know sort of fighting.
Speaker 1:There's also the great relationship with his manservant. Like.
Speaker 1:Falcon is just like a, like one of his advisors or teachers that's got a teacher matter rules kingdom as he gets older. And then you kind of wonder, like it's not clear if we know that the evil queen used her weather changing weapon or whatever the orb of destructive, destructive power. That's really like kind of manipulates weather to knock his city state down. Like cause. Obviously we could say it's medieval times, every city's like its own country. But then it's not clear if his parents were the king and queen and they got killed, or if he's a child ruler whose parents had died and he just doesn't know how to run a city and all the advisors get killed and the only advisor to the left is Falcon. However, falcon has a bone club made out of his own.
Speaker 1:I love the bone club, but then at one point he's been saving a smaller bone to give to the prince to have his own little club, or whatever.
Speaker 2:Yeah, which is such a cool scene too, because he's literally faced with I, for who's like the henchman to Queen Gendron and he, like you know, he just whips out all this taekwondo, you know, he's like literally with his bone club, just like. It just was great, and I love that. He becomes a little bit more of like this selfless hero, like he honestly does a majority of the outside of Sonia, like he's literally like he's sneaking in. He gets underneath the gate at the very end. He sneaks underneath again to get another gate open. He ends up becoming, you know, this kind of little hero and yeah.
Speaker 1:So the queen has an advisor whose name is Loki, spelled backwards oh, is that what it is? But he's very, he's a short guy. So it's like they, they kind of like I mean obviously Production design or the DP or the director like they obviously plan that, like, oh, let's make her henchman a short dude, and then he's gonna end up dueling the prince. You know what I mean. So, and I mean he's a henchman, so he thinks like, oh, I could, if I can win anybody in a short fight, I bet you I can beat the prince, but he can't. And then he gets crushed to death by a sliding door or something. I love that I mean.
Speaker 1:But you wonder what the price tag was, because, well, it's a failure at the box office. Obviously it's a hidden gem to discover on freaking consumer. You know, tapes or whatever VHS is, then DVDs and cable television, whatever. They've been trying to reboot the damn thing forever because the characters such a strong Mythos or whatever, but they have many able to. But I just wonder, like, because Caldor does dip out at certain times of the movie, like right, so if you're hoping that it's like the third Conan movie, but then he's not there that much, I mean, it's like he's gone for I don't know half an hour, like he's gone for like most of the third act. He's there for that water fight with the one monster. Like he shows up in time to deck it out with the water monster but then he doesn't help them in the city fight with that other warlord, random warlord that she encounters in the beginning.
Speaker 2:Well, that's what yeah, he pops up. Because he pops up and he's like Sonia, I'm here to help, and then she ends up defeating him.
Speaker 1:But you're right, he does pop in and out the movie one thing I wrote down that I thought was like so they have like a magic mirror, they want to spy on where red Sonia and her allies are, because they know they're on their way to the evil city. But where are they also? How funny is it like that. It's also a stereotype like, oh, we're gonna go to the land of internal darkness, alright, cool, that's where she is. And then, but um, and first the magic mirror showing like a belly dancer yes, I'm like who's thought is it? It's the queen wants to see. Okay, so the evil queen has a Sorcerer guy who works with like his little potions off to the side of her throne and so like she commands me to do certain things. So then they have like a magic mirror thing and he's supposed to spy on red Sonia, but at first it's like a belly dancer, right?
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's like a broadcast, like.
Speaker 1:I tuned into the wrong channel hold on.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I thought that was funny.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's a great joke, but you could almost miss that part if you're not paying attention.
Speaker 1:You know, yeah, the duel of red Sonia and Caledon is pretty good, so that's like. It's like, obviously it's a metaphor for hooking up or whatever. And Prince is confused and he's asking the guy something like, um, neither of them wants to win, or you know, he's like, why are they trying so hard? Yeah, yeah, and obviously, like because of the rating of the movie, it's like, oh yeah, we're not gonna get a real sex scene, but obviously the, the sword fighting between them is obviously metaphors, right? Um, yeah, so the duel of the heroes, the monster fight and the freaking wizard making a mistake with his little magic mirror, some of the best parts, um, I feel like I mean, it's so hard to know, like, because, like, of the three movies Conan the barbarian, then Conan the destroyer and red Sonia, red Sonia and Conan the destroyer, which is Conan 2, like played a lot on television and the one and the of those three, the movie that I've gone back to most now in the last five years is Conan the destroyer. However, I feel like Some story, some story in red Sonia is a little bit stronger than in the conan movies. The way to watch the original Conan is to find the director's cut, and John Milius is a great filmmaker and there's like a there's actually a feature length documentary about Bringing Conan to the screen. So it's like there's all this other stuff besides the movies that you don't know. You don't mean To get the movies made and then to arrive at, like red Sonia, and we don't have a third Conan.
Speaker 1:So it kind of just fits in the spot of like it's set in the same time period, it's the same group of people, it has the same like production design style, or it's not exactly medieval, like it's not england, it's not vikings, there's like asian influences and Persian influences in the designs of the costumes and the armor, and so it's all kind of mixed together. Um, what was my point? What was my point? Yeah, I'll the yeah. So I guess, over time, my my appreciation for the movie's changes, which will affect my ratings of this movie. There we go. That's what that was. That was my point.
Speaker 2:Yeah, this is me.
Speaker 1:Were at ratings yeah, and I thought about like uh, trying to come up with some fantasy movie style ratings to Inter splice with binge now, binge later or binge never, which means watch it now, get to it eventually or don't ever watch this thing. But I couldn't think of one, I couldn't be like unicorn now, no unicorns, two fairies. You know what I? Mean I couldn't think of, like I couldn't think of anything, that's okay, I forgive you.
Speaker 2:So the way that we rate the movies is binge now, obviously binge right now. Add it to the top of your list. Watch it get it.
Speaker 2:Okay, get it. Yeah, get it is right. Or binge later, which is added to the list, but get around to it whenever you got some time, not super urgent, and then binge never is. You literally cannot get your time back. Um, for me, for this movie, this was a binge. Now, I always love a good female hero. It's a movie about vengeance. She's just trying to get back essentially. Um, and I just thought it was great, you know. So what about you?
Speaker 1:Is it clear that her ghost guide is like her mother or her dead mother? I did not, yeah, because she has like a spiritual guide. I think it's her dead parents, or dead mom, or dead older sister. I don't remember how many sisters she has because actually in this her Sister is a temple guard who dies, who was guarding the orb before the evil queen steals it, um, but then she's also guided to the sword, which is very much like a conan type. She's guided, guided to like the sword that she needs, um, and the ghost tells her you know, get up. And well, get up after a huge trauma, but anyway, get, get up and get going on your revenge trip, or whatever.
Speaker 1:Um, yeah, I just like. Maybe I was distracted when I watched it, because I'm veering towards binge later, even though my whole life I've celebrated this movie.
Speaker 1:You know, I'm being drawn to Conan part two, the Conan the destroyer, for the most complete story of the three, like as far as magic swords standals, continuity of characters and sense of humor. Although I didn't realize this one also had a sense of humor. I don't remember any of the jokes. Maybe it was like like Above me or whatever and I was just paying attention to the fighting and the monsters. But you can't go wrong. I mean, you're not, you're gonna have a fun time. These movies, like I heard they were gonna remake Never ending story. I don't know if you've ever told our audience that, but they're like supposedly adapting that to a show or another movie or something Like some of these are like sacred things that you can't touch. And like red Sonya, like Robert Riga's, was gonna do it, you know, in like 2009 or something. We still haven't done it. They did remake Conan in like 2011 with Jason Momoa, but it's like it.
Speaker 1:It feels like insert barbarian here, kind of like yeah yeah, it doesn't feel like Conan, it just feels like another adventurer in the in Conan's world you know I don't know if you saw that, but Dang it.
Speaker 1:It has a great villain, though. There's a girl who plays the witch. Who would who like was? She was actually the best part of the damn movie. What is her name? Holy crap. She's in a Robert Riga's movie where she is fighting zombies with no leg, like she gets a machine gun leg. What is? What is it? Her name is escaping me, folks, I don't know.
Speaker 1:She's also in Jawbreakers, which is like a Kind of like a dramedy about these girls. Do they commit murder in there? Or they're either trying to cover up a murder or they commit murders? I can't remember Rosa McGowan. That took a while, folks. I'm sorry her name was. I saw the letter R, but I couldn't think of so. She would make like an amazing red Sonya or like if they took her villain from the new Conan and stuck it into red Sonya, she'd be a strong Queen Gedrin. She plays like some kind of witch in the Conan remake and, hmm, she's the standout from that, from the remake, you know. They mean like he's the thing that seems the most unique, or the fact that they had Conan's father in the remake to play by the guy who plays Hellboy. What's his name? Come on, dang.
Speaker 2:What are you talking about the Hellboy that we had recently watched? Yeah, yeah, yeah, on Perlman.
Speaker 1:Yeah, ron Perlman, sorry. Anyway, Perlman man shows up as playing Conan's father in the remake. I Mean, even though I said a binge later, I could say like I'm, I pretty much watch everything that comes down the pipe that has magic swords and monsters. You know, it's obviously like so it's. So in rating them, you know, give it with grain of salt, because obviously it's like I'm gonna watch Fan service. What are the fans up to? I Don't know. I was. I didn't do my research. I didn't bring any fan comments from Anywhere.
Speaker 2:Leave them for us grab what will comment comment somewhere. Yeah, go comment somewhere, do it on our YouTube, do it on there are comments.
Speaker 1:I just I just did not prepare one to review. I'm sorry. Oh Well, I can't say that like there seems to be an outstanding. It looks like we're getting more positive feedback for the crow, like they're they're on board for the new crow, as opposed to being against the new crow. Okay, I wasn't gonna bring that up because I haven't. I haven't written down anything else. I'll bring up the fact that there was some support of the new crow. Um, probably because, unfortunately, brandon Lee's dad and people are like forgetting him and forgetting the crow, like I Would. I would say, like go watch the crow. You know what I mean. If anything's a bitch now, go watch the. Go watch the 90s crow With Brandon Lee.
Speaker 1:I saw an outtake of him in an interview and he was, and it was it's like one of those eerily timed clips. It's like you know, oh, one of his last interviews before the accident on set. And he's like how many sunsets are you gonna see? He's like how many times you can think about that ice cream trip that you took with your dad? Or you know what I mean. Like he's like recounting how there's a limited recall on certain memories, and how many times will you, will you be able to enjoy these things in your life, even sitting down memory lane type stuff, and I was like oh dang, and then. But of course the caption on Instagram is like Recorded you know, days before the tragic accident, totally, you know, get your emotions up on the clip, get those comments on the clip and all that. So anyway, yeah, it's fantasy movie month. We're gonna keep doing fantasy type stuff, changing it up. Usually we get it to it later in the summer, but we have a killer horror movie list to get through this year with summer slash.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we do so.
Speaker 1:You know we're gonna be a little bit Chasing unicorns for the next few weeks. Uh, we're gonna watch this movie called 47 Ronin next, keanu Reeves in a samurai movie, that's right. John Wick transported back in time to fight some demons in Japan Obviously a story that's definitely not taken from any realistic headlines. That's why it fits into fantasy movie month. Uh, 47 Ronin it was a medieval romance written in Japan about group of loyal samurai whose lord is killed and then they take revenge, and then they they commit supuku, which is like the sacrificial death where they are allowed to die with their honor, and Somebody decided hey, you know what would make the story better? Counter eaves and some demon magic. So that's the version we're watching and reviewing for next week is 47 Ronin counter eaves plays.
Speaker 1:What's his name? Kai? Yeah, he's a very like insert Smith name, you know. You know what I mean. Like like what would you call Westerner inside of an Asian movie? It would be like Kai or something like that. Anyway, the monsters are great. That's what I can say. We're gonna get our monster on. They have a giant like. How? Like, don't spoil too much. Oh dang, I'm dropping spoilers for the next movie. Look red, sonya is cool. Bridget Nielsen, I loved it. She was deserved to be plucked off that magazine and put it in the movie and.
Speaker 1:She didn't. You, never you. You might not ever get to Conan 3, so you might as well enjoy red Sonya. And you know, if you want to see little Ernie raised junior, who may or may not look like a friend that I have in real life, you know, go watch red Sonya. Yeah, we'll be back next week with freakin 47 Ronin, which actually should be a super hyped up show. I'm excited already. I was ready to podcast about it right now, george.
Speaker 2:Okay, Come on man.
Speaker 1:That's are gonna be weak. I. Were you were little. Did you ever get magic swords like? Did you ever get toy swords instead of like tiara's and wands? Did you ever like go by the boy toys or like?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I wasn't a girl toy person, just cuz we didn't really do toys, but I had an older brother, whoa we got to talk about this, or like we only had one toy in our house. I was a backyard kid.
Speaker 1:Yeah, outdoors kids. Yeah, I'm home when the street lights come on, that kind of thing, like we'll see you.
Speaker 2:Hear the whistle. You better start spitting home or else they'll be trouble. Yeah, I was a backyard kid, but my brother, you know you always want to be like your older sibling, I feel like when you're that young, and so I just wanted to like play with his football or like I would literally roller skate mistakes. But yes, of course, sword fight when you'd get the long, you know, at Christmas, when your mom would like go through a roll of wrapping Paper and you'd have the really long tube, and then you sword fight.
Speaker 1:Oh, what do you do with the tube? Yeah, it's a lightsaber.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so you know you got it.
Speaker 1:You ever build cardboard spaceships? Did you climb into big boxes and turn them into like spaceships or anything?
Speaker 2:Probably a castle, you know.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, best. I was a big make believe person, you know.
Speaker 1:Backyard kid because it's better than being a lashkey kid locked up in an apartment all day. Well, actually, kids that live in apartments, they just like do prank calls and what Do? Ghost knocking or whatever. Like they knock on the neighbor's door and run away. I mean, what are you gonna do? Ride the laundry shoot all day. Like if you live on the 11th floor, you just like the ride the lawn down to the scary basement all day.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you run in the stairwell a bunch, you know yeah, I mean, if you're lucky, you get to be like the dude in a home alone to where he gets checked into a hotel by himself at 12 With like his dad's credit card and it would be so nice.
Speaker 1:To home alone, actually like those brief moments in adulthood where you get to like spark something, that from your childhood where you get a like for the next three Days, don't call me, you can't get a hold of me, I'm not paying bills. I'm like I'm gone for three days in my own little world. Leave me alone.
Speaker 2:I literally had a dream about something like that last night where, like my dream was that like Pat took this wrong turn and he was supposed to drop me off and I was really a trivia for those that don't know she's dating.
Speaker 1:I remember talking about boyfriend boy Pat before.
Speaker 2:The dream, the context of the dream was that I was so upset that I was robbed of like an hour and a half of my time Like a loan, but anyways, yeah dreams somebody write in and dissect that dream for us.
Speaker 1:Yeah, seriously. I want to know.